


Travva

by Tristiahna



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: BillDip, Body Horror, Gore, Horror, Human Bill Cipher, M/M, One-Shot, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-05
Updated: 2016-03-05
Packaged: 2018-05-24 18:54:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6163212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tristiahna/pseuds/Tristiahna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Two hearts beating, both of you breathing, a calmness and serenity as you lay side by side. However, it's a different experience when your heart doesn't beat and there's no reason to breathe. Suddenly, you find you're cold, and you desire more than what you can physically obtain and sometimes it leaves you a little... bloody.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Travva

A body lies beside me, one that is unlike my own. I can hear his heart beating, his low breathing, and feel his warm skin. My heart does not beat, nor do I need to breathe. I am cold, a shell, nothing more than a container for my demonic spirit. It reminds me that I am superior, I am Bill Cipher, and I am not limited by the functions of a human being.

And truth be told, _I hate it._

I feel him shift beside me and I think of all the ways I can destroy him. I want to put my hands around his throat and drag a knife across his skin. I want to make him scream my name in both pleasure and pain.

He sleeps so soundly, unaware of the thoughts that are running through my head. I don’t want him to die, oh no. I like him, I really do. Maybe it’s envy that fuels my violent intention.

I want to be him.

I want nothing more than for him to allow me back inside. I want to feel his pain, his pleasure, his fear, his anguish. I want to taste the blood on his lips and feel the life leave his body. A vessel cannot compare to the feeling of true flesh, and nothing is more exciting than two existences merging together.

I slowly adjust my position, careful not to wake him. I straddle his hips to look down on his sleeping visage. I imagine he’s me and I imagine everything I could do.

I want to take the pencil on the nightstand and slowly insert them in to my eyes, moving them carefully, removing them from their designated place. I want to cup them in my hand and squeeze them and feel them as they’re destroyed under my fingers, robbing myself of my vision. I would clean my hand with my tongue, tasting their fluids mixed with my blood.

I want to take the scissors to my mouth and cut out my teeth, hold them in my hand, and admire their beauty. I want to suck the blood off of them before I swallow them one by one.

I want to tear open my throat, and cut my vocal cord. I want to rip out my trachea and hold it in my hand. I’d run my fingers over the ridges, admiring its shape, it’s structure, and what it no longer offers me.

I timidly reach out and guide my hand across _my_ sleeping beauty’s lips and slowly allow them to roam downward, to his neck, and gliding over his collarbone.

I want to break it.

I close my eyes as I continue to indulge in my fantasy.

I want to take the knives and bury them between each of my ribs and twist them slowly as I savor the agony and inability to breathe as I choke on my own blood.

I want to cut open my stomach and put my hands inside, watch my fingers move under the skin and watch as blood pours out as I trace over every organ.

I want to inject acid in to my veins and feel as my blood begins to burn.

I want to break my bones and then I want to break them again.

I want to cut off my limbs and lay them out.

I want to mutilate every inch of myself.

I want to destroy my physical existence, if not for the pleasure alone.

But then I have to wonder, is it really what I want? For me, myself, and I. Or is it what I want for…

I lean in as my lips graze his and I mouth the words, ‘you’.

I move to his ear and glide my tongue across it as he begins to stir. I bite down gently on the lobe before kissing the skin right below.

I want nothing more than to bite it off, rip it from his body with my own teeth.

His eyes flutter open and he turns to look at me through half-lidded eyes. “Good morning…” He mumbles, sleep still in his voice.

I smile, as my lips meet his, no longer trying to be gentle now that he is was awake.

“You seem happy.” He mumbles while attempting to get out of bed.

“It’s because of you.” I say as I watch him swing his legs over the bed.

Truth be told, I’m not happy. I can't be happy; not like this. My body is a prison, I am not human, nor do I feel like myself.

He makes his way over to the bathroom before turning to look back at me with a quick smirk, “care to join me?” He offers before closing the door.

Moments later I hear the shower turn on and I smile to myself. I am superior, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t beautiful.

I, too, make my way out of bed, but before joining him I reach for the scissors on the nightstand.

I will make him even prettier.

* * *

 

_I never loved like you thought I’d love_  
_And all that we were turning into dust_  
_I'm all you desire and I'm all you have_  
_All of it is just a dream_

**Author's Note:**

> I've been... very on edge lately and to be honest this is slightly a vent-fic... even though I'm not sure what entirely sparked it.


End file.
